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Table Of Contents

  1. How much are you worth?
  2. What is your nerdity percentage?
  3. What is your purity percentage?
  4. What is your sanity percentage?
  5. Are you a Freak?
  6. What's your Intelligence Quotient (I.Q.)?
  7. Oh yeah? Well what's your Emotional Intelligence Quotient (E.Q.)?
  8. What is your Logic I.Q.?
  9. Any other QueenDom results?
  10. Are you a member of the mile high club?
  11. Are you egotistical?
  12. Do you want those scores to be high or low?
  13. Are you accident prone?
  14. What's your Myers-Briggs Type
  15. What is your Enneagram
  16. Do you have lots of Anxiety?
  17. How jealous are you?
  18. How much of a loser are you?
  19. What is your shape-affinity?
  20. Who would you be in a medieval kingdom?
  21. Which Star Wars characters are you most like?
  22. What are your Values?
  23. What kind of dog are you?
  24. Speaking of emode, what is your personality?
  25. How evil are you?
  26. How evil were you?
  27. What is your political party?
  28. What is your political ideology?
  29. What are your Color Quiz results?
  30. What is your Geek Code?
  31. What is your Cat Code?
  32. But you're not a cat?

1:   How much are you worth?
I am worth $2,450,330.00.

I'm happy to see that this puts me in the top 40 most expensive humans for
sale on their site (out of 2.5 million humans).  If only I could sell
a few *pieces* of me.

2:   What is your nerdity percentage?
I am 65.40% (327/500) geek.
Unfortunately my nerdity score is dropping because I am forgetting the things
I learned in school.  Damn - what the hell is avagadro's number again?

3:   What is your purity percentage?
I am also under 50% pure.  Geeks can have fun too.
I take the test with all 500 questions, and sometimes I also
tally up the score for sections I am interested in (1-3,5,7-11) removing
the drugs and non-primary gender preference to get that score as well.

I've also done the online purity test which is 400 questions and scored 38% pure

Here's a history of my dropping purity:

1/1993      56.4%
1/10/1993   51.8%
3/6/1994    51.8%  (non-drugs/primary: 43.3%)
10/21/1996  48.6%
6/2004      36.6%  (non-drugs/primary: 26%)  <- thanks to Section 8!  :)

4:   What is your sanity percentage?
I am evidently about 81% insane.  Though I would have to question the
authority of the aforementioned sanity test.  It's a bit shifty.  :)

5:   Are you a Freak?
(Really a 1970's test for "Need for Uniqueness")

                                Raw %   Percentile
Need to be unique:              81.25   88th
Need to NOT conform:            97.73   99th
Willingness to express dissent: 100.00  96th
Overall:                        89.84   96th

6:   What's your Intelligence Quotient (I.Q.)?
According to http://cech.cesnet.cz/IQ/index.php I am in that two sigma.

7:   Oh yeah?  Well what's your Emotional Intelligence Quotient (E.Q.)?
According to the Utne Reader, I'm pretty retarded.  My score was 65.
  No, not out of 100 - like I.Q., where 100 is average.  Yikes.
But according to Queendom I'm in great shape:
  Overall score: 117 points  (population mean = 100; SD = 15; min = 30; max = 145) 
  Behavioral aspect: 115 points  (min = 37; max = 144) 
  Knowledge aspect: 121 points  (min = 37; max = 131) 

So how do I react to this?  Screw the Utne Reader!  *sob*

8:   What is your Logic I.Q.?
It's 85/100, which is why I do what I do.
(Hey baby, 50+ is outstanding...)

9:   Any other QueenDom results?
Image Twist		100%
Sensuality Test		 78%
Sex Personality:
  Attitude:		Very liberal  (92/100)
  Spice:		Above Average (70/100)
  Sexual Daredevil:	Average .. What they talkin' about?  I have sex in public!  In fact, see...

10:  Are you a member of the mile high club?
July 29th, 2002, AA flight 115 Heathrow->Kennedy

11:  Are you egotistical?
Much to the surprise of many (including myself), I'm evidently pretty
even between altruism and egoism.  Maybe that's a scoring error..

12:  Do you want those scores to be high or low?
Nerdity Percentage:  High
Purity Percentage:   Low
Sanity Test:         Depends on the test
I.Q.:                High

13:  Are you accident prone?
Evidently I am accident prone enough to have deleted the answer to this
question sometime in the last few years without even noticing...

14:  What's your Myers-Briggs Type
I am, not surprisingly, completely Rational (NT).
My full temperament is Extroverted Intuitive Thoughtful Perceiving (ENTP).
In a more negative sense, I am not Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging.
You can get more info at sunsite,

According to xeromag, however, this makes me the Mad Scientist.  I appreciate that.

15:  What is your Enneagram
  My top scores:
Thinker		7
Reformer	6
Leader		5
Generalist	5
Motivator	4

2009/06:  I took the test again.
Type 5  The Investigator    8   (I think this is the same as the "Thinker" above)
Type 7  The Enthusiast      7
Type 1  The Reformer        5
Type 8  The Challenger      5

2012/04:  The tests can't agree on me  (enneagramquiz.com)
  You are a Type 7 with a 6 wing: "The Entertainer"
	  ((That doesn't sound right, actually))
  Your tritype is 7w6, 1w2, 3w4.

Because of the idea of Enneagrams growth/stress arrows, it seems
I'm either a highly stressed Investigator or a highly "growthed" Enthusiast.
I just made that word up.

16:  Do you have lots of Anxiety?
Nope.  I'm 19/100.

17:  How jealous are you?
I used to be a jealous freak, but then I got my head on straight.
  Overall score:	11/100	(65+ is extreme jealousy)
  Emotional level:	15/100	(88+ is extremely jealous)
  Behavioral level:	7/100	(35+ is extremely jealous)
  Irrational level:	6/100	(65+ is extremely jealous)
  Dependency:		12/100
  Self-esteem issues:	10/100
  Control issues:	0/?

18:  How much of a loser are you?
According to TheSpark I am a:
  MASTERMIND (Submissive Introvert Abstract Thinker )

Like just 9% of the population you are a MASTERMIND (SIAT). You can 
be silent and withdrawn, but behind your reserved exterior lies an 
active mind that allows you to analyze situations and come up with 
creative, unexpected solutions. Normal people call this "scheming." 
Don't learn German.

Anyway, your sense of style and originality are your strengths, and 
people will respect your judgment once they get to know you. If you 
learn to be a little more personable, you could be a great 
leader--you've definitely got the "vision" thing down. Just make sure 
all the plotting you do behind those eyes of yours is healthy.

19:  What is your shape-affinity?
According to this one question test, I am Introspective, Sensitive, Reflective.
Gee, that's nice.

20:  Who would you be in a medieval kingdom?
The Discoverer might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the 
time. Your overriding goal is to go where no one else has ever gone 
before. Regardless of the number of available natural problems to be 
solved, it is not unusual for you to continually challenge yourself 
with new situations or obstacles that you have created. You are an 
insatiable explorer of people, places, things and ideas. You thrive 
on constant change and anything new or different. On the positive 
side, you can be creatively rational as well as open minded and just. 
On the negative side, you might be an impractical and indecisive 
procrastinator. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable 
in today's corporate kingdoms.

I took it once before and got to be Prime Minister.  That's pretty cool.

Being a bastard, I figured out where they hide most of their descriptions:
  Prime Minister, Merchant, Scientist, Bishop, Minstrel,
  Black Knight, White Knight, Discoverer, Shepherd, Benevolent Ruler

21:  Which Star Wars characters are you most like?
This test rates you on five traits, and gives you Star Wars 
characters that have the same traits as you.

openness            80% (Yoda)
conscientious       47% (Grand Moff Tarkin)
extraversion        86% (Lando Calrissian)
agreeableness        0% (Emporer Palpatine)
neuroticism         14% (Princess Leia)

22:  What are your Values?
I am an Actualizer / Experiencer:

Actualizers are successful, sophisticated, active, "take-charge" 
people with high self-esteem and abundant resources. They are 
interested in growth and seek to develop, explore, and express 
themselves in a variety of ways--sometimes guided by principle, and 
sometimes by a desire to have an effect, to make a change.

Image is important to Actualizers, not as evidence of status or power 
but as an expression of their taste, independence, and character. 
Actualizers are among the established and emerging leaders in 
business and government, yet they continue to seek challenges. They 
have a wide range of interests, are concerned with social issues, and 
are open to change. Their lives are characterized by richness and 
diversity. Their possessions and recreation reflect a cultivated 
taste for the finer things in life.

Experiencers are young, vital, enthusiastic, impulsive and 
rebellious. They seek variety and excitement, savoring the new, the 
offbeat, and the risky. Still in the process of formulating life 
values and patterns of behavior, they quickly become enthusiastic 
about new possibilities but are equally quick to cool. At this stage 
in their lives, they are politically uncommitted, uninformed, and 
highly ambivalent about what they believe.

Experiencers combine an abstract disdain for conformity with an 
outsider's awe of others' wealth, prestige, and power. Their energy 
finds an outlet in exercise, sports, outdoor recreation and social 
activities.  Experiencers are avid consumers and spend much of their 
income on clothing, fast food, music, movies, and video.

23:  What kind of dog are you?
I didn't like the choices in this test much, but I am evidently:

Great Dane
  You are most like a GREAT DANE. You are the Adonis of all dogs.
  Sophisticated and full of spirit, you draw a crowd of admirers
  wherever you go. Being intelligent and athletically gifted does not
  hurt your popularity, either. You are classy and well-mannered, while
  maintaining a friendly and approachable air. You are the perfect
  blend of physical and mental prowess.

24:  Speaking of emode, what is your personality?
Dave's a Skydiver!

You're a free-spirited, independent, action-crazed lunatic. You love 
movies with sex and violence, and you drive like a maniac. "Anything 
for a good time," is your motto, even if that means dancing 
half-dressed on some booze-slicked bar. But let's face it, you're so 
fun, interesting, and gung-ho about life that people find you 
irresistible no matter what you do.

You're open and extroverted, and chances are you're pretty liberal 
(ever thought of giving nudism a try?). Plus, you can work a crowd, 
baby. You're like a magnet for love and affection. People adore you.  
They'll cross a busy street just to get a closer look at you. And, 
thanks to that healthy dose of self-confidence, you're super-flexible 
- it takes a real downer to make you blue. Your friends are probably 
all just like you, and we wouldn't be surprised to hear that you're 
all plotting to take over some Caribbean island.

You're a great leader at work. You're a self-starter and will always 
volunteer to take on a job if no one else is up for the task. Plus, 
you're an excellent communicator and tend to spread your enthusiasm 
to others. But routine work makes you act up and throw things, and 
then people don't like you so much anymore.

25:  How evil are you?
Evil			5%
Sexually Evil		5%
Passive Aggressive	5%
Black Hearted		30%

Hey baby, check this excerpt out:
  "In bed, you're as generous as they come - you always put your 
   partner's needs ahead of yours. And your bedroom is a sacred temple. 
   Overall, you're an enlightened sexual wonder.  Just remember, it's 
   okay to go nuts on your birthday."

Hear that?  My birthday is December 3rd.  You have been warned.

26:  How evil were you?
Evidently I've grown less evil.  When I first took the test a few years ago:

Evil			35%
Sexually Evil		5%
Passive Aggressive	65%
Black Hearted		60%

27:  What is your political party?
According to the quizfarm test for political beliefs, I'm anarchist.  Cute.
















28: What is your political ideology? I am a "Social Liberal" (65% permissive) and an Economic Conservative (66% permissive) I am best described as a Libertarian, as shown by this graph: I "exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness." More amusing is the same graph with overlays of famous people based on their ideologies. According to that graph, I have shot Adam Sandler square in the head with my beliefs. If you look at my results compared to the 2004 election, you can see why I do not vote. 29: What are your Color Quiz results? Color Quiz is this bizzarre test that makes you pick some colors and then tells you about your life. Seems like hocus pocus, but it has interesting results, and I can conceive of how statistically the choices you make could like you up with like people. Who knows. It had some interesting stuff to say about me, don't know if I agree with all of it. Your Existing Situation Active, but feels that insufficient progress or reward is being made for the effort exerted. Your Stress Sources Has an unsatisfied need to ally himself with others whose standards are as high as his own, and to stand out from the herd. His control of his sensual instincts restricts his ability to give himself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow himself to merge with another. This disturbs him, as such instincts are regarded as weaknesses to be overcome; he feels that only by continued self-restraint can he hope to maintain his attitude of individual superiority. Wants to be loved or admired for himself alone; needs attention, recognition, and the esteem of others. Your Restrained Characteristics Insists that his hopes and ideas are realistic, but needs reassurance and encouragement. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense. Conditions are such that he will not let himself become intimately involved without making mental reservations. Your Desired Objective Wants to make a favorable impression and be recognized. Needs to feel appreciated and admired. Sensitive and easily hurt if no notice is taken of him or if he is not given adequate acknowledgment. Your Actual Problem Afraid that he may be prevented from achieving the things he wants and therefore demands that others should recognize his right to them. Your Actual Problem #2 Needs to be valued and respected as an exceptional individual, in order to increase his self-esteem and his feeling of personal worth. Resists mediocrity and sets himself high standards. 30: What is your Geek Code? -----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK----- Timestamp: June 15, 1999 Version: 3.1 GCS/GE/GP d-- s+:- a- C++++$ ULHS+++$ P++++$ L++ !E W+++ !N o++ K++ !w--- M++ PS+++ PE++ Y+(++) PGP+ !t !5 !X R++ !tv b++ DI++++ D+ e++ h+ r+(++) y++**>$ ------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------ 31: What is your Cat Code? AL W H 27.06 Y+++ L W C+++ I T++/T-- A+++ E++ H S+++ V+++ Q+++ P++ B+ PA++ PL+++ 32: But you're not a cat? No, not really.

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