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Table Of Contents

  1. Who are you?
  2. Wait, are you a con-man with that many names?
  3. Who are you not?
  4. Where'd your name come from?
  5. What does your name mean?
  6. What's with the David Madison thing?
  7. What's with the David Madison Stellar thing?
  8. Where'd you come from?
  9. Where were you born?
  10. So when's your birthday?
  11. Where are you now?
  12. Where am I now?
  13. Where have you been?
  14. Where are your homes?
  15. What are you?
  16. What's this 'dave++' I see you using?
  17. What's this 'Dave ][+' I see you using?
  18. How many broken/fractured bones have you had?
  19. What is your Monster Manual entry?

1:   Who are you?
One of:
  David Ljung Madison Stellar
  David Ljung Madison
  David Jeffrey Ljung
  David Jeffrey Ljung Madison
  David Jeffrey Madison

2:   Wait, are you a con-man with that many names?
No.  Definitely not.  Though a con-man would say the same thing, so why
bother asking?

3:   Who are you not?
I am not Dave Cain.

Who is Dave Cain (previously of DaveCain.com)?  He found my site and was surprised because he also:

1) Worked at HP and was fired for "deviant" web pages
2) Worked at a startup
3) Has written MarginalHacks type code, including an album maker, a web
   crawler, web server, email forger, search engine submitter (Java, not perl)
4) Rides a motorcycle
5) Makes chainmail
6) Is vegetarian
7) Does Burning Man


4:   Where'd your name come from?
My brother was born first, so 'Mike' was already taken.

You figure that maybe my parents could have come up with a more
original name, like 'SuperFlash' - but I guess they were pretty
busy with feeding us and all.

My original last name - 'Ljung' - is Swedish.  Those Swedes don't know how
to spell.  It's pronounced "young."  As in "I'm youthful and I like
to put L's next to J's."  Evidently it's a fairly common name in
Sweden, which concerns me about their literacy problems.

Ljung means 'Heather.'  I'm sure there's at least one person out there
named Heather Ljung, I wonder if they know how silly their name is.

5:   What does your name mean?
From Parent Soup:

  David, a 2-syllable boy's name of Hebrew origin, means: Beloved one. 
  David's ethnic backgrounds include * Scottish * Swedish * Hebrew * 
  English/Welsh * German . It's religious association is biblical (see 
  * 1Sa 16:13-14).

  Jeffrey, a 2-syllable boy's name of Anglo-Saxon/Teutonic origin, 
  means: Gift of peace.

  Madison, a 3-syllable girl's name of Teutonic/Anglo-Saxon origin, 
  means: Gods; mighty.

  Ljung is Swedish for Heather (common American girls name)

I guess I'm only 50% boy.

According to a U.S. Census name search:

NAME           %FREQ   CUMM FREQ    RANK
----           -----   ---------    ----
DAVID          2.363     17.176        6
DAVE           0.053     77.316      271
JEFFREY        0.591     38.588       30
MADISON        0.011     44.471     1094
LJUNG          not found!  Dear god, I don't exist!

Ranking of David over the last few decades:
  1930		18th
  1940		7th
  1950		6th
  1960		1st
  1970		2nd
  1980		4th
  1990		5th

I've found better (worldwide!) stats for the last name thanks to forebears.io:

                                  # people    Rank in the world
Olson (Arielle's last name)       222926        2452nd
Ljung (my first last name)          7060       64595th
Madison (my second last name)      36719       14367th
Stellar (our new last name)          460      511649th
  We've become super rare!  (only 368 Stellar's in the USA)

6:   What's with the David Madison thing?
I wasn't born David Ljung Madison - I was originally born David Jeffrey Ljung.

I actually changed my name because I couldn't deal with "Ljung" anymore.

Ljung, incidentally, is strangely pronounced as "Young"

That's right, the 'L' is silent and the 'J' sounds like...

Wait, what?  The 'L' is silent?  What the fuck is that?

First of all, a disclaimer.  Ljung is an interesting last name.  I
joke and jest about it quite a bit, but I don't mean to offend people
with the name Ljung (such as my family, or approximately 1/4th of the 
population of Sweden).  If you're looking for a last name, I highly 
recommend it.  It's just not for me.

But you try spelling 'Ljung' every single day to nimwits who can't 
digest the concept of 'j' after 'l'.  To be fair, I can think of two 
words that have 'lj' in them, though it's not like they're both silent.

For some reason, when I spell it, nice and slow, people will write down
'Lgung' half of the time.  Like 'lg' is easier to stomach or something.

Of all the people in my life who have had to pronounce my name from
reading it, I have heard it correct *once*

And here's my role call with every new teacher I've ever had:

"Johnson"                               "here"
"Jones"                                 "here"
"Kaplan"                                "here"
"Lewis"                                 "here"
"...umm... Dave?.."                     "here"

So for many years I've wanted to change my last name.  I had two requirements:

1)  It couldn't be common (such as Smith, Jones)
2)  It shouldn't have any spelling ambiguities (such as Meyer/Meier..)

After some thought, I realized that the name of the city I was born
in, and the city that I went to school in, and a city that I love
dearly, perfectly met the two conditions above.

Fortunately I realized that "David Madison Wisconsin" was too long to spell,
so I just chose "David Madison"

The irony, of course, is that I had just purchased the domain
DavidLjung.com a few months before, specifically for the permanence
of it all.  Oops.

It takes months to legally change your name unless you are getting married.
You have to file a petition, post a public notice in a local newspaper for
four weeks, and present yourself before a judge.  Yeesh.  I should have found
someone named Madison to marry, it would've been easier.

Also, David Madison gives me an anagram for my name: "Add mad vision"
not to mention the anagram "DNS Domain Diva" which perhaps explains
my domain proclivities.

Now, unfortunately I've learned something else about the difficulties
of changing one's name.  Just because you legally change your name doesn't
mean that you'll actually feel like that's your name.  So now I don't
feel like David Madison, and I don't feel like David Ljung either.
How's that for a loss of identity?

I've recently learned, however, that the name 'Ljung' is somewhat made
up (at least for my family).  It's a Swedish name, but my great great
grandfather John decided to choose his last name as Ljung when he 
immigrated in 1881.  His father was Jon Persson, so arguably we should have
either been Jonsson/Johnson or even Persson.  So 'Ljung' is an 
arbitrary last name for me as well, it's just older in it's arbitrariness.

7:   What's with the David Madison Stellar thing?
So, my (also scandinavian) woman and I are getting married, and she's
not a fan of Ljung or Madison, and neither of us are a fan of her
last name (Olson) - so we brainstormed for a while and came up with
a completely new name.  So I'll be changing my name again.  Since I
still need to keep "David Ljung Madison" for my computer work world
and my dance teacher world, my full name will hence become:

             David Ljung Madison Stellar 6000

(Okay, so maybe not the "6000" part)

8:   Where'd you come from?
Well - apart from the obvious joke about my parents, I lived in the
following cities:

  Madison, WI            Good place
  West Chicago, IL        Bad place
  North Haven, CT        Good place
  Geneva, IL              Bad place
  Madison, WI            Good place
  Fort Collins, CO        Bad place
  San Francisco, CA      Good place

See a pattern?

I've learned this much.  I can never move again.  Or if I do, I have to
first make a "sacrificial move" - like to Iowa or something.

9:   Where were you born?
The fantastic city of Madison, Wisconsin

But my family moved a month and a half later (without consulting me),
so it wasn't until years later (thanks to UW-Madison) that I was reunited
with this amazing city.

10:  So when's your birthday?
My actual birth in the geological sense happened at about 7pm on December 3rd.
It's interesting to note that the day I was born (12/03) is also the
most common code you'll see on those signs they put on the back of
tankers to let you know that the contents are flammable (1203 = gasoline)

But it's not as simple as that.

After I had been dancing for many years, I decided that at 10 years of
dancing (on 2006/11/08) I would start celebrating my dance birthday instead
of my physical birthday.  For those of you used to seeing me get older in
December, you'll have to adjust back about a month.  :)

I mentioned this to my mom in a phone call, and through it learned
about my mom's gullibility as well as the little known Legal Birthday
Ramifications Institute (or LBRI for short, of course).

This is going to get tricky in 2011, because I started Blues Dancing
on 2001/10/14, so my tenth Blues Dancing birthday is coming up.  It seems
that my birthday keeps getting a little earlier, and I keep getting younger.

At this rate, I should die in 2047 with a birthday of January 1st at the
ripe age of 2.

11:  Where are you now?
I am back in SF!  I spent almost a decade of my life as a nomad, with
half the year in San Francisco,
and a little less than half the year in Europe, teaching and dancing,
usually centered in Zurich. I spend at least part of July I live in
Hërrang, Sweden, and at the beginning of September I am a resident of Black Rock City.

12:  Where am I now?
Right here.  Pay attention.

13:  Where have you been?
Here's a map of countries I have been as of 2018:

   visited 43 states (19.3%)

You can create a map like this at either douweosinga.com

I once had a possible trip to Antartica, but it fell through on the details.  Ah well.

I'm totally failing on the southern hemisphere of this planet.

14:  Where are your homes?
Here is a map of what has been or are currently my homes, in a quasi-
chronological order.

15:  What are you?
I'm a carbon/water based bi-pedal lifeform.  So are you, probably.
More specifically, I'm mix of things.  I'm mostly northern european, meaning
I'm a Viking.  Here's the breakdown:
  Dad's dad	Swedish (viking)
  Dad's mom	Norwegian (viking)
  Mom's dad	Polish (viking)
  Mom's mom	Polish (viking), Danish (viking) and other less-vikingy things.

That's where the hair comes from.  And the irrepressible urge to conquer Europe.

16:  What's this 'dave++' I see you using?
It's a net nickname.  In many programming languages you can increment
a variable with '++.'  It can come before or after the variable name,
which decides whether the evaluation of the expression is before or
after the increment.
Hence, 'dave++' means the value of dave, then increment one.

17:  What's this 'Dave ][+' I see you using?
In 1976 Apple computer introduced the Apple I in a wooden case,
running the blazing fast 6502 at 1MHz, and with 8k RAM.

In 1979 they introduced the Apple II+, now with a plastic case and
a whopping 48k RAM.

I suppose one way to read that is that I'm six times bigger than a
normal Dave, and I come in an attractive beige case, ready for sale!

Or just that I'm a Dave upgrade.

18:  How many broken/fractured bones have you had?
At least 12(+?) that I know of:

  right wrist  Fell off slide like big dork, fell 13 feet and whammo
  right leg    Compression fracture, skiing in Colorado with family (pre-1989).
               I knew this was broken though my family didn't believe me.
  nose         Wrapped a car around a tree, Xmas 1992-3?  Didn't know it was
               even injured until the x-ray tech told me.
  finger       Hit tree skiing at Vail, whammo!  Now it's bent funny.  Didn't
               know it was broken till it didn't straighten out, though it
               sure hurt at the time.
  jaw/tooth    Inline Skating - around 1997?  Just a chip (didn't need it wired
               shut).  Didn't know it was broken till the chip from my jaw worked
               it's way out through my chin.  The tooth was broken too, which
               I also didn't know it was broken until I needed a root canal
               because my tooth was evidently broken too.
  left ankle   Unknown date - never realized it was broken until I reinjured
               it at Catalina Island after the dance camp July 1999.  When
               I had it X-Rayed the doctor asked me when it was broken the
               first time and I was unsure.  He wanted a history of all my
               prior injuries and I couldn't remember them.  He asked me if
               I was a football player or something.  That was pretty funny.
               I think the original break occurred skiing, either at Arapahoe
               Basin (cliff jumping) or 1/29/1995 at Winter Park (impressing a female).
  left wrist   On 7/21/2000 I had a motorcycle accident described at DaveHistory
  right thumb  Same accident, once again I didn't know it was broken - they
               X-Rayed it a few days later because it was still sore.
  tooth        Same accident - I had a chipped tooth and didn't notice it until
               a friend pointed it out to me.
  toe?         I think I broke my big toe on 12/1/2002, but I haven't xrayed
               it and it isn't causing me enough problems to check.
  rt pinky toe Broken 5/15/2022 because my dog tripped me going down the stairs.
               Again, didn't know it was broken until the X-Ray, thought it
               was dislocated, but it was a clean break.  Yikes.
	rt rib #1    Working on roof of Bijou at BM 8/24/2022, there was a sheet of roofing
               missing which was impossible to see at night, I went through the theater
               soundboard ceiling and (fortunately) caught myself on the ceiling joist
               right on my rib, and managed to stop my fall (instead of landing 1 story
               below on a construction site).  So I fortunately didn't die.
  ?            Might have more.  It seems I don't know when I break my bones,
               and I like to hit trees.

Danger is my middle name.

19:  What is your Monster Manual entry?
DAVEOLA (Fuzzlemonkey)
MOVE: 10'/rd
% IN LAIR: 60
TREASURE TYPE: Swing shoes, old games
ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral
SIZE: XL in shirts, 32/32 in pants
  Attack/Defense Modes: Nil
LEVEL/X.P. VALUE: X/70,000

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