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1: Who are you? One of: David Ljung Madison Stellar David Ljung Madison David Jeffrey Ljung David Jeffrey Ljung Madison David Jeffrey Madison 2: Wait, are you a con-man with that many names? No. Definitely not. Though a con-man would say the same thing, so why bother asking? 3: Who are you not? I am not Dave Cain. Who is Dave Cain (previously of DaveCain.com)? He found my site and was surprised because he also: 1) Worked at HP and was fired for "deviant" web pages 2) Worked at a startup 3) Has written MarginalHacks type code, including an album maker, a web crawler, web server, email forger, search engine submitter (Java, not perl) 4) Rides a motorcycle 5) Is vegetarian 6) Does Burning Man Weird 4: Where'd your name come from? My brother was born first, so 'Mike' was already taken. You figure that maybe my parents could have come up with a more original name, like 'SuperFlash' - but I guess they were pretty busy with feeding us and all. My original last name - 'Ljung' - is Swedish. Those Swedes don't know how to spell. It's pronounced "young." As in "I'm youthful and I like to put L's next to J's." Evidently it's a fairly common name in Sweden, which concerns me about their literacy problems. Ljung means 'Heather.' I'm sure there's at least one person out there named Heather Ljung, I wonder if they know how silly their name is. 5: What does your name mean? From Parent Soup: David, a 2-syllable boy's name of Hebrew origin, means: Beloved one. David's ethnic backgrounds include * Scottish * Swedish * Hebrew * English/Welsh * German . It's religious association is biblical (see * 1Sa 16:13-14). Jeffrey, a 2-syllable boy's name of Anglo-Saxon/Teutonic origin, means: Gift of peace. Madison, a 3-syllable girl's name of Teutonic/Anglo-Saxon origin, means: Gods; mighty. Ljung is Swedish for Heather (common American girls name) I guess I'm only 50% boy. According to a U.S. Census name search: NAME %FREQ CUMM FREQ RANK ---- ----- --------- ---- DAVID 2.363 17.176 6 DAVE 0.053 77.316 271 JEFFREY 0.591 38.588 30 MADISON 0.011 44.471 1094 LJUNG not found! Dear god, I don't exist! Ranking of David over the last few decades: 1930 18th 1940 7th 1950 6th 1960 1st 1970 2nd 1980 4th 1990 5th 6: What's with the David Madison thing? I wasn't born David Ljung Madison - I was originally born David Jeffrey Ljung. I actually changed my name because I couldn't deal with "Ljung" anymore. Ljung, incidentally, is strangely pronounced as "Young" That's right, the 'L' is silent and the 'J' sounds like... Wait, what? The 'L' is silent? What the fuck is that? First of all, a disclaimer. Ljung is an interesting last name. I joke and jest about it quite a bit, but I don't mean to offend people with the name Ljung (such as my family, or approximately 1/4th of the population of Sweden). If you're looking for a last name, I highly recommend it. It's just not for me. But you try spelling 'Ljung' every single day to nimwits who can't digest the concept of 'j' after 'l'. To be fair, I can think of two words that have 'lj' in them, though it's not like they're both silent. For some reason, when I spell it, nice and slow, people will write down 'Lgung' half of the time. Like 'lg' is easier to stomach or something. Of all the people in my life who have had to pronounce my name from reading it, I have heard it correct *once* And here's my role call with every new teacher I've ever had: "Johnson" "here" "Jones" "here" "Kaplan" "here" "Lewis" "here" "...umm... Dave?.." "here" So for many years I've wanted to change my last name. I had two requirements: 1) It couldn't be common (such as Smith, Jones) 2) It shouldn't have any spelling ambiguities (such as Meyer/Meier..) After some thought, I realized that the name of the city I was born in, and the city that I went to school in, and a city that I love dearly, perfectly met the two conditions above. Fortunately I realized that "David Madison Wisconsin" was too long to spell, so I just chose "David Madison" The irony, of course, is that I had just purchased the domain DavidLjung.com a few months before, specifically for the permanence of it all. Oops. It takes months to legally change your name unless you are getting married. You have to file a petition, post a public notice in a local newspaper for four weeks, and present yourself before a judge. Yeesh. I should have found someone named Madison to marry, it would've been easier. Also, David Madison gives me an anagram for my name: "Add mad vision" not to mention the anagram "DNS Domain Diva" which perhaps explains my domain proclivities. Now, unfortunately I've learned something else about the difficulties of changing one's name. Just because you legally change your name doesn't mean that you'll actually feel like that's your name. So now I don't feel like David Madison, and I don't feel like David Ljung either. How's that for a loss of identity? I've recently learned, however, that the name 'Ljung' is somewhat made up (at least for my family). It's a Swedish name, but my great great grandfather John decided to choose his last name as Ljung when he immigrated in 1881. His father was Jon Persson, so arguably we should have either been Jonsson/Johnson or even Persson. So 'Ljung' is an arbitrary last name for me as well, it's just older in it's arbitrariness. 7: What's with the David Madison Stellar thing? So, my (also scandinavian) woman and I are getting married, and she's not a fan of Ljung or Madison, and neither of us are a fan of her last name (Olson) - so we brainstormed for a while and came up with a completely new name. So I'll be changing my name again. Since I still need to keep "David Ljung Madison" for my computer work world and my dance teacher world, my full name will hence become: David Ljung Madison Stellar 6000 (Okay, so maybe not the "6000" part) 8: Where'd you come from? Well - apart from the obvious joke about my parents, I lived in the following cities: Madison, WI Good place West Chicago, IL Bad place North Haven, CT Good place Geneva, IL Bad place Madison, WI Good place Fort Collins, CO Bad place San Francisco, CA Good place See a pattern? I've learned this much. I can never move again. Or if I do, I have to first make a "sacrificial move" - like to Iowa or something. 9: Where were you born? The fantastic city of Madison, Wisconsin But my family moved a month and a half later (without consulting me), so it wasn't until years later (thanks to UW-Madison) that I was reunited with this amazing city. 10: So when's your birthday? My actual birth in the geological sense happened at about 7pm on December 3rd. It's interesting to note that the day I was born (12/03) is also the most common code you'll see on those signs they put on the back of tankers to let you know that the contents are flammable (1203 = gasoline) But it's not as simple as that. After I had been dancing for many years, I decided that at 10 years of dancing (on 2006/11/08) I would start celebrating my dance birthday instead of my physical birthday. For those of you used to seeing me get older in December, you'll have to adjust back about a month. :) I mentioned this to my mom in a phone call, and through it learned about my mom's gullibility as well as the little known Legal Birthday Ramifications Institute (or LBRI for short, of course). This is going to get tricky in 2011, because I started Blues Dancing on 2001/10/14, so my tenth Blues Dancing birthday is coming up. It seems that my birthday keeps getting a little earlier, and I keep getting younger. At this rate, I should die in 2047 with a birthday of January 1st at the ripe age of 2. 11: Where are you now? I'm a bit of a gypsy now. I spend about half the year in San Francisco, and a little less than half the year in Europe, teaching and dancing, usually centered in Zurich, though in July I live in Hërrang, Sweden, and at the beginning of September I am a resident of Black Rock City. 12: Where am I now? Right here. Pay attention. 13: Where have you been? Here's a map of countries I (will) have been (2015/06): visited 41 states (18.3%) You can create a map like this at either douweosinga.com or at world66.com I once had a possible trip to Antartica, but it fell through on the details. This is what the map should look like: I'm totally failing on the southern hemisphere of this planet. 14: Where are your homes? Here is a map of what has been or are currently my homes, in a quasi- chronological order.
15: What are you? I'm a carbon/water based bi-pedal lifeform. So are you, probably. More specifically, I'm mix of things. I'm mostly northern european, meaning I'm a Viking. Here's the breakdown: Dad's dad Swedish (viking) Dad's mom Norwegian (viking) Mom's dad Polish (viking) Mom's mom Polish (viking), Danish (viking) and other less-vikingy things. That's where the hair comes from. And the irrepressible urge to conquer Europe. 16: What's this 'dave++' I see you using? It's a net nickname. In many programming languages you can increment a variable with '++.' It can come before or after the variable name, which decides whether the evaluation of the expression is before or after the increment. Hence, 'dave++' means the value of dave, then increment one. 17: What's this 'Dave ][+' I see you using? In 1976 Apple computer introduced the Apple I in a wooden case, running the blazing fast 6502 at 1MHz, and with 8k RAM. In 1979 they introduced the Apple II+, now with a plastic case and a whopping 48k RAM. I suppose one way to read that is that I'm six times bigger than a normal Dave, and I come in an attractive beige case, ready for sale! Or just that I'm a Dave upgrade. 18: How many broken/fractured bones have you had? At least 10 that I know of: right wrist Fell off slide like big dork, fell 13 feet and whammo right leg Compression fracture, skiing in Colorado with family (pre-1989). I knew this was broken though my family didn't believe me. nose Wrapped a car around a tree, Xmas 1992-3? Didn't know it was even injured until the x-ray tech told me. finger Hit tree skiing at Vail, whammo! Now it's bent funny. Didn't know it was broken till it didn't straighten out, though it sure hurt at the time. jaw/tooth Inline Skating - around 1997? Just a chip (didn't need it wired shut). Didn't know it was broken till the chip from my jaw worked it's way out through my chin. The tooth was broken too, which I also didn't know it was broken until I needed a root canal because my tooth was evidently broken too. left ankle Unknown date - never realized it was broken until I reinjured it at Catalina Island after the dance camp July 1999. When I had it X-Rayed the doctor asked me when it was broken the first time and I was unsure. He wanted a history of all my prior injuries and I couldn't remember them. He asked me if I was a football player or something. That was pretty funny. I think the original break occurred skiing, either at Arapahoe Basin (cliff jumping) or 1/29/1995 at Winter Park (impressing a female). left wrist On 7/21/2000 I had a motorcycle accident described at DaveHistory right thumb Same accident, once again I didn't know it was broken - they X-Rayed it a few days later because it was still sore. tooth Same accident - I had a chipped tooth and didn't notice it until a friend pointed it out to me. toe? I think I broke my big toe on 12/1/2002, but I haven't xrayed it and it isn't causing me enough problems to check. ? Might have more. It seems I don't know when I break my bones, and I like to hit trees. Danger is my middle name. 19: What is your Monster Manual entry? DAVEOLA (Fuzzlemonkey) FREQUENCY: Rare NO. APPEARING: 1 ARMOR CLASS: -2 MOVE: 10'/rd HIT DICE/POINTS: 50d6+100 % IN LAIR: 60 TREASURE TYPE: Swing shoes, old games NO. OF ATTACKS: 3 DAMAGE/ATTACK: 10d6 SPECIAL ATTACKS: Scathing wit SPECIAL DEFENSES: Flight MAGIC RESISTANCE: 98% INTELLIGENCE: Very ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral SIZE: XL in shirts, 32/32 in pants PSIONIC ABILITY: Nil Attack/Defense Modes: Nil LEVEL/X.P. VALUE: X/70,000
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